Internet quotes :)


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tdv    (2006-12-22)
Internet quotes :)

There are three kinds of death in this world.  There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's being off the network.  ~Guy Almes


The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.  ~Patrick Murray


Internet users are flocking to the Vatican's new website (so they say).  It turns out though, that most visitors are there to confess after visiting the Cindy Crawford site.  Now, the faithful don't have to kiss the Pope's ring - you just double click on it.  ~Author Unknown


If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.  ~Dan Quayle, attributed


Describing the Internet as the Network of Networks is like calling the Space Shuttle a thing that flies.  ~John Lester


The Internet is the trailer park for the soul.  ~Marilyn Manson


The world is poised on the cusp of an economic and cultural shift as dramatic as that of the Industrial Revolution.  (OK, it doesn't take a genius, or even a politician, to figure out that big changes are afoot when we have a medium that lets someone throw up a virtual storefront on the Web and instantly gain access to the global market.)  ~Steven Levy, 1997


The Internet is a shallow and unreliable electronic repository of dirty pictures, inaccurate rumors, bad spelling and worse grammar, inhabited largely by people with no demonstrable social skills.  ~Author Unknown


We have technology, finally, that for the first time in human history allows people to really maintain rich connections with much larger numbers of people.  ~Pierre Omidyar


America Online customers are upset because the company has decided to allow advertising in its chat rooms.  I can see why: you've got computer sex, you can download pornography, people are making dates with 10-year-olds.  Hey, what's this?  A Pepsi ad?  They're ruining the integrity of the Internet!  ~Jay Leno


Spending an evening on the World Wide Web is much like sitting down to a dinner of Cheetos...  two hours later your fingers are yellow and you're no longer hungry, but you haven't been nourished.  ~Clifford Stoll


Chances are, you now know that the marriage of the computer and the telephone is one of the century's seismic technical and economic developments.  In terms of potential social and economic impact, it is often likened to the introduction of assembly-line manufacturing or to the invention of the computer itself.  ~Author Unknown


It was a typical net.exercise - a screaming mob pounding on a greasy spot on the pavement, where used to lie the carcass of a dead horse.  ~Author Unknown



The Internet is the most powerful magnifier of slack ever invented.  ~Author Unknown


Almost overnight, the Internet's gone from a technical wonder to a business must.  ~Bill Schrader


Cutting through the acronyms and argot that littered the hearing testimony, the Internet may fairly be regarded as a never-ending worldwide conversation.  The government may not, through the CDA, interrupt that conversation.  ~Stewart Dalzell, ruling on the constitutionality of the Communications Decency Act, 1996


The Net treats censorship as a defect and routes around it.  ~John Gilmore, 1993


The Internet interprets the US Congress as system damage and routes around it.  ~Jeanne DeVoto, take-off on a quote by John Gilmore


The Internet is full.  Go away.  ~Author Unknown


If addiction is judged by how long a dumb animal will sit pressing a lever to get a "fix" of something, to its own detriment, then I would conclude that netnews is far more addictive than cocaine.  ~Rob Stampfli


A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet porn.  ~Dave Barry


If you have a web site, it makes your small business look big.  ~Natalie Sequera


The Internet is not just one thing, it's a collection of things - of numerous communications networks that all speak the same digital language.  ~Jim Clark


The Internet is like alcohol in some sense.  It accentuates what you would do anyway.  If you want to be a loner, you can be more alone.  If you want to connect, it makes it easier to connect.  ~Esther Dyson


The 'Net is a waste of time, and that's exactly what's right about it.  ~William Gibson


No matter how well you know the rules of netiquette, you will eventually offend someone who doesn't.  ~Don Rittner


There are 5,000 great people for every jerk on Usenet.  But that still is a lot of jerks.  Proceed with caution and eyes wide open.  ~Don Rittner


[W]e're into a whole new world with the Internet, and whenever we sort of cross another plateau in our development, there are those who seek to take advantage of it.  So this is a replay of things that have happened throughout our history.  ~Bill Clinton


After all, it was designed to withstand nuclear war, not just the puny huffs and puffs of politicians and religious fanatics.  ~Denise Caruso, about the Internet



Just as we could have rode into the sunset, along came the Internet, and it tripled the significance of the PC.  ~Andy Grove


Sooner or later the Internet will become profitable.  It's an old story played before by canals, railroads and automobiles.  ~Paul A. Samuelson


When I took office, only high energy physicists had ever heard of what is called the World Wide Web.... Now even my cat has its own page.  ~Bill Clinton, 1996


The message for business people contemplating their place in cyberspace is simple and direct:  get linked or get lost.  ~Vic Sussman and Kenan Pollack


I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load.  It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age.  Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society.  ~Scott Adams


In cyberspace, the First Amendment is a local ordinance.  ~John Perry Barlow


The Internet is an important cultural phenomenon, but that doesn't excuse its failure to comply with basic economic laws.  The problem is that it was devised by a bunch of hippie anarchists.  ~Thomas Nolle


The Internet is the world's largest library.  It's just that all the books are on the floor.  ~John Allen Paulos



Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant.  ~Mitch Kapor, variation of a quote by Jerome Weisner (Getting an education from MIT is like taking a drink from a fire hose.)


The Internet is becoming the town square for the global village of tomorrow.  ~Bill Gates


Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.  ~Author Unknown


National borders aren't even speed bumps on the information superhighway.  ~Tim May


Nowadays, anyone who cannot speak English and is incapable of using the Internet is regarded as backward.  ~Al-Waleed bin Talal


Looking at the proliferation of personal web pages on the Net, it looks like very soon everyone on Earth will have 15 megabytes of fame.  ~M.G. Sriram


A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.  ~Author Unknown


What, exactly, is the Internet?  Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any computer, anywhere, that is equipped with a device called a "modem" can make a noise like a duck choking on a kazoo.  ~Dave Barry


I have an almost religious zeal - not for technology per se, but for the Internet which is for me, the nervous system of mother Earth, which I see as a living creature, linking up.  ~Dan Millman


The Internet isn't free.  It just has an economy that makes no sense to capitalism.  ~Brad Shapcott


While you are destroying your mind watching the worthless, brain-rotting drivel on TV, we on the Internet are exchanging, freely and openly, the most uninhibited, intimate and, yes, shocking details about our config.sys settings.  ~Dave Barry


The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life.  ~Andrew Brown


Internet:  absolute communication, absolute isolation.  ~Paul Carvel


The Internet is clearly about more than sports scores and email now.  It's a place where we can conduct our democracy and get very large amounts of data to very large numbers of people.  ~Frank James


Advances in computer technology and the Internet have changed the way America works, learns, and communicates.  The Internet has become an integral part of America's economic, political, and social life.  ~Bill Clinton



We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true.  ~Robert Wilensky, 1996


You can't take something off the Internet - it's like taking pee out of a pool.  ~Author Unknown, 1995


Information on the Internet is subject to the same rules and regulations as conversation at a bar.  ~George Lundberg


Television to brainwash us all and Internet to eliminate any last resistance.  ~Paul Carvel



The Internet is based on a layered, end-to-end model that allows people at each level of the network to innovate free of any central control.  By placing intelligence at the edges rather than control in the middle of the network, the Internet has created a platform for innovation.  ~Vinton Cerf


Hooked on Internet?  Help is a just a click away.  ~Author Unknown


Entire new continents can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen.  Contrary to what you may have heard, the Internet does not operate at the speed of light; it operates at the speed of the Department of Motor Vehicles.  ~Dave Barry, Dave Barry in Cyberspace


The Internet has been the most fundamental change during my lifetime and for hundreds of years.  ~Rupert Murdoch


The advent of electronic mail is fostering a revival of "the familiar letter."  ~Author Unknown


My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them.  ~Penn Jillett


The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, "people without lives."  We don't care.  We have each other.  ~Dave Barry


The Internet is the first thing that humanity has built that humanity doesn't understand, the largest experiment in anarchy that we have ever had.  ~Eric Schmidt


The Internet is a telephone system that's gotten uppity.  ~Clifford Stoll


Warning: the Internet may contain traces of nuts.  ~Author Unknown


The big dispute between the government and Microsoft concerns the Internet "browser," which is the piece of software that puts a message on your computer screen informing you that the Internet is currently busy and you should try again later.  As you can imagine, the potential market for this service is huge, so Microsoft would like you to use its browser, and not somebody else's.  ~Dave Barry, 1998


Science fiction does not remain fiction for long.  And certainly not on the Internet.  ~Vinton Cerf


Five years ago, we thought of the Web as a new medium, not a new economy.  ~Clement Mok


The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.  ~Dave Barry



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