pregnancy jokes

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miketodd    (2011-09-23)
pregnancy jokes

Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of the ways having a second and third child is different from having your first.

Your Clothes

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

(more options below)

sunilsamuel    (2011-09-27 18:57:58)
pregnancy jokes

A Husband made a call to the Hospital to know about his pregnant Wife. But accidentally the call went to a Cricket stadium. He asked, "What is the condition?" He fainted after hearing the reply, which said, "7 are already out...
3 more to get after Lunch...and...two were Ducks..."


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sunilsamuel    (2011-10-04 17:01:59)
12 years ago

A woman goes to a sperm bank  for artificial insemination. 
The doctor takes off his clothes and explains, "We're all out
of the bottled stuff, I'm going to have to give you draft."


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sunilsamuel    (2011-10-17 21:05:38)
12 years ago

On the Valentine's Day before the birth of our first child
I brought a flowering plant home to my pregnant wife.
  "They're mums," I told her, pleased with my pun.
  Since it was already a week past her due date, my wife quipped,
"You should have gotten impatients."


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davis241    (2011-11-17 06:57:57)
12 years ago

Why Studying Is Better Than Sex
10. You can usually find someone to do it with.

9. If you get tired, you can stop, save your place and pick up where you left off.

8. You can finish early without feelings of guilt or shame.

7. When you open a book, you don't have to worry about who else has opened it.

6. A little coffee and you can do it all night.

5. If you don't finish a chapter you won't gain a reputation as a "book teaser."

4. You can do it, eat and watch T.V. all at the same time.

3. You don't get embarrassed if your parents interrupt you in the middle.

2. You don't have to put your beer down to do it.

1. If you aren't sure what you're doing, you can always ask your roommate for help.


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pwhjenny    (2012-10-31 02:51:34)
11 years ago

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.

santiago    (2013-06-07 14:53:25)
pregnancy jokes

An Englishman and a Scotsman were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer.
After a while the Scotsman says to the Englishman, "If I was to sneak over to your house and shag your wife while you were off fishing, and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us related?"

The Englishman crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question.

Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about being related, but it would make us even."


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